The world most definitely needs to see us represent true biblical friendship and be women of grace to each other.
Do you feel the quick temper of the world? How short-fused so many people are these days? Do you feel the weight of struggle, strife, and dissension going on? Life is busy and crazy and tough.
Even among friendships and how we treat each other there is an edge sometimes that you can feel trying to steal away the goodness of the relationship. Do you know what I’m talking about?
We lose friends these days because feelings get hurt. It could be a slew of reasons, maybe we “didn’t reach out enough” or we take too long to respond back to each other. It sounds ridiculous to type this but it’s true. Our feelings are taking over the world.
We’re letting our feelings control too many decisions and reactions and leaving no room for grace.
If we’re claiming to represent Jesus Christ, we need to show what biblical friendship looks like. Let’s be different from the world because we ARE different. Let’s show the world what grace looks like through friendships.
Biblical Friendship
Biblical friendship is bound by God’s Spirit.
You know when people comment about “the friends that stuck by me through the hard times”? We’re living in a hard world and we need to stick by one another. Sometimes we’re too quick to throw in the towel when it gets tough in relationships. The world acts like it can’t be bothered if the waves get a little choppy.
Relationships and friendships take work, effort, sacrifice, and grace. Just because it’s hard in this season, doesn’t mean it’s not working and there’s not a brighter future up ahead. Too often grace is withheld.
It makes me sad to read quotes like, “don’t cross oceans for people who wouldn’t cross a puddle for you”. Or hear someone say, “I’m removing this person from my life because they’re too negative or too toxic to be around”. Yes, there are some actual harmful people in the world that we should have distance from, no doubt. By all means, protect yourself and your family. But for the most part, the remaining people are people that are hurt.
Whether their hurt is insecurity, jealousy, sheer brokenness, pain from their upbringing, or pain that you don’t even know about. Could they be placed in your life for a reason?
Could you be their introduction to grace? I wonder that sometimes.
Sadly, I’ve actually put distance between friendships in the past because of petty feelings. In hindsight, I wish I’d extended grace instead. Your perspective greatly alters when you realize the grace you’ve received yourself.
We’ve been given grace to extend grace. That’s how we bring God’s light into the world.
Biblical Friendship Is Not This
If you hear another sister say these things or you have these thoughts in your mind, kick them to the curb.
The phone works both ways.
If you don’t make an effort, then don’t expect me to.
Oh they’ll make time for you if they really care.
I know she read it. She’s just ignoring me.
If she really cared, she’d….
I’m always the one reaching out.
If it weren’t for me…
It’s not fair.
Don’t let talk or thoughts like that influence your Christian friendship. Our lives shouldn’t revolve around us. It’s the hardest thing to walk out because our inclinations are for self. Women of grace humble themselves. And then they humble themselves again. And again.
Do you know what the world does? It tries to make itself look pretty and beautiful and appealing, and it tries to hide and cover up the ugly. We do that too sometimes. So do our friends.
Related: Lies Women Believe And How to Combat Them
We do not know each other’s inner thoughts. Or what we’re each struggling with right now. We do not know what battles and obstacles we’re each fighting against privately. We do not know the details of each other’s marriage or the struggles of parenting we’re each facing. But every single person is fighting something. We share that together.
Women of grace show empathy and kindness to others. We realize as desperate we are for grace, so is our friend.
What Biblical Friendship Is
Biblical friendship pursues God’s standard.
The standard of the world is pretty low. It gets its feelings hurt, tucks tail, and bows out. It moves on to the next best thing that’s “easier”, “prettier”, “funnier”, and “always a good time”.
Let’s raise the standard so the world takes notice. Women of grace are beacons of God’s grace. Wouldn’t the world be so much more beautiful if there were more women of grace? Let the flame start with us.
This isn’t the easier path. You’ll probably come out bruised, dirty, and tore up. Don’t let that stop you from beholding the beauty that’s found at the end. Our eyes need to be firmly fixed on the One that actually sets the standard.
The following shows the characteristics of a good friend.
Biblical Friendship Is Patient
Fall back and wait for her. Let her catch her breath. Give thanks for your endurance in this day and share your strength that the Lord has given you. I can’t count how many times people have done this for me over my lifetime. It makes all the difference in the world. You know what else it does? When I did catch my breath, it made that friendship all the more endearing.
We all need others to wait for us at some point. Be a woman of grace that waits out the storm with her. The winds will settle. It always does. Be there for her.
Biblical Friendship Forgives
Chances are she let you down and you’ve been hurt at some point. It stings and it’s heavy. The pain from a broken friendship is brutal. If there’s any mess going on in your heart regarding a friendship, seek forgiveness.
The longer the mess goes on in your heart and mind, the more entangled YOU are. This is a breeding ground for bitterness and a playground for darkness. Blast it with light and seek forgiveness in your heart. You will be liberated from so much weight and it’s what Jesus gave to us on the cross when He died for every single sin we have ever done or ever will do.
Biblical Friendship Prays
When I used to play soccer, if someone was injured on the field all the players would take a knee. The game would pause and it was a sign of respect for the injured player.
Let’s be women of grace that will take a knee. Pray for her. Our prayers go straight to the doors of heaven. There is power in prayer and it can change everything. Pray for her heart, her strength, and her family.
But don’t stop there. Pray for your heart and for patience. Ask God how He can use you in this relationship and what He’s trying to teach you about Himself and others. Chances are, the lesson is more about your heart than theirs. That’s what I’m learning anyways.
Biblical Friendship Defends
Have you ever considered you may be the only person fighting for her right now? She may not even realize your value or what you’re doing, but do it anyway. She could very easily be the one fighting for you in a year from now.
Even if they pull away, keep reaching out. We’re stronger together and these battles are fierce. Fight for her when she’s not able to fight for herself. You’ve been fought for. We all have. Let’s share the victory with her!
Biblical Friendship Sacrifices
If she’s down, you very well may need to carry her. This may be a season you just need to carry more weight in the friendship. She may need your faith to lean on to walk through this time. There’s a real likelihood that she realistically can’t do more. Adjust your expectations.
Carry her with your words. Encourage her through this season. Share the hope and peace you cling to in Jesus Christ. There truly is an endless supply of it and enough for everyone.
Related Post: Easy Ways to Encourage Others
Biblical Friendship Displays
The world is watching us. Our sons and daughters are paying attention. People are curious to know if we really are any different from the rest. Let’s show them the beauty of grace.
Imagine if grace spread like wildfire over our homes, friendships, communities, nation, and world. Let the spark start with us.
Related: What Is The Good News of The Gospel?
Biblical Friendship Verses
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13
If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Ecclesiastes 4:10
Anyone who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty. Job 6:14
Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. Proverbs 17:9
Biblical Friendship Grows
You are seen with eyes of Love. Showers of kindness and tender mercy has been extended to you and is poured over you each and every day. We’re covered in grace.
Let’s be women of grace for others and share what we’ve been given! Our world is desperate for it.
Call of Action:
Don’t hesitate to show grace today.
Related: The Importance and Value of Christian Unity
Want to remember this? Post Women of Grace in Friendships to your favorite Pinterest board!
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I love this! I’ve been called toxic when I was struggling with depression. That pain is BRUTAL. I also try not to give up on friends who mess up.
Aw I’m so sorry that happened to you! Friendships can certainly be messy and hard. I hope this brought encouragement to you and I pray we both represent Christ well in our friendships. Hugs to you, Kathryn!
I needed to hear this