A young Christian couple that we are close to just got married recently. The godly wisdom they possess is well beyond their years, and I know it will help them immensely as they pursue a God-honoring marriage. I’ve been reflecting on the biblical keys to a successful marriage and keep concluding that true success is found when Christ is exalted.
I’m sharing 10 Biblical Keys to Marriage that I’m learning through God’s Word. Whether you’re just starting out, in the trenches, or in a blissful marriage, seeking biblical marriage principles with our eyes firmly fixed on the Lord will prove worthwhile!
Biblical Keys To Marriage
The Top 10 Keys to Marriage grounded in God’s Word are below. Explanation follows.
Biblical Keys To Marriage
- Foundation in Christ
- Commitment
- Love
- Prayer
- Christian Support
- Forgiveness
- Humility
- Gentleness
- Patience & Peace
- Unity
During our first year of marriage, we truly did not understand the biblical keys to marriage. We certainly were not cultivating the characteristics of a healthy marriage based on biblical principles but God’s grace has been poured upon us and we have grown in the truth that He must be and stay at the center!
Marriage is hard work.
It is beautifully created and ordained by God. Whether you’re on year 2 or year 42, marriage is a gift to be treasured and celebrated! If how you view your marriage is purely through physical eyes and not eyes of faith, your heart can be easily deceived.
Seek God’s heart for your marriage through His word.
Biblical keys to marriage will not be found in this broken world.
If you’re not already doing so, I would encourage you to spend daily time in God’s Word. There is no better way to grow and learn what a biblical marriage is than through the Bible.
How do you have a successful godly marriage?
The following biblical marriage principles will come from various verses in the bible. Multiple characteristics of a goldy marriage come straight from Ephesians 4:2-3 NIV. It will be part of our basis for the biblical keys to a successful marriage.
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:2-3
The image below is a free 4×6 printable for you to download as a gift of encouragement.
What are the biblical principles of marriage?
Through God’s Word, these biblical keys to marriage are what we are growing and learning to stand on. Discover the following foundational principles of marriage:
1. Biblical Keys to Marriage – Foundation in Christ
How can I have a healthy marriage? God must be the center of marriage.
There is no other way for your marriage to truly thrive otherwise. God and marriage go hand in hand if you desire to have a successful marriage.
‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Matthew 19:5-6
Having your marriage centered on God is a foundational principle to marriage. Without God as the foundation, all other keys cannot be grounded properly. A marriage built on God seeks God, serves God, honors God, and pursues God.
We can know and trust that God has a good purpose for marriage. He can equip us, transform us, and empower us well beyond what we are capable of doing ourselves.
God truly can use the ugly, broken, shattered pieces and make them into something beautiful! These pieces need to be surrendered to Him. Having a foundation in Christ takes us off the throne that we like to climb up on and keeps Him rightly where He belongs.
God will honor and bless your pursuit of Him.
2. Biblical Keys to Marriage – Commitment
Sitting in our premarital counseling appointment with our gifted copy of The 5 Love Languages, I remember nodding along assuring our pastor and my future husband, “Yes, yes, we’re committed.” 7 months after our wedding and an out-of-state move from my family, leaving a job I loved, the church I knew, and my lifelong friends made that commitment much more challenging than my naivety before marriage!
Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it” (Psalm 127:1a).
Commitment isn’t always easy. What does commitment in marriage mean? Genuine devotion. It’s genuine devotion to both God and the covenant of marriage. It’s a question that needs to be affirmed, are my actions proving my genuine devotion to God and my spouse?
Focus on the Family offers great tools for strengthening your level of commitment with regard to Christian marriage principles.
3. Biblical Keys to Marriage – Love
The word love is tossed around so frivolously in today’s world. Christian marriages define love through 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
A godly marriage doesn’t give love on an “if-then” basis or base love on feelings alone. Both measures can be unhealthy.
The love we’re to show our spouse is to be reflective of the love God has shown us through the gift of His Son as well as His continual unconditional love He daily pours upon us through His mercy and grace. His love is a love we do not deserve and it’s out of the overflow of the love He pours upon us that we truly love our spouses well.
When expressing love to your spouse is difficult, extra EXTRA time must be spent with the Lord to fill up on His love. One of the greatest gifts we can give our spouse is by delighting in the love God.
Related: The Compassion of Jesus
4. Biblical Keys to Marriage – Prayer
Prayer is a paramount biblical key to a healthy marriage.
Pray for each other. James 5:16
Our marriages need to be saturated in prayers. God hears every breath, praise, and plea uttered. We need to be praying for our marriage, ourselves, and for our spouses. The following Prayers for Your Husband are a good place to start!
The importance of communication in marriage is equally important between our spouse as it is with God.
Prayer is necessary when building a godly marriage.
5. Biblical Keys to Marriage – Biblical Church
If you’re looking for biblical instructions for marriage, find a church family that is biblically grounded! Keep looking until you find your church home. It is out there and absolutely necessary.
Seek out others that are like-minded in developing a godly marriage. Those who are willing to be real, do life together, pray with you when it’s a tough season, celebrate with you, and encourage each other in life.
When it comes to keys to a successful marriage, Christian support and accountability is absolute. We were created to be in community with others. If you don’t already have a biblical church that you are a member of, make that a priority to seek out.
6. Biblical Keys to Marriage – Forgiveness
Forgiveness is another powerful way to cultivate the characteristics of a healthy marriage. When we base forgiveness on another broken sinner that let us down, we’re looking horizontally and not vertically. Our eyes need to be firmly fixed on the cross and on our Savior that died for all broken sinners. That’s where miracles happen.
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)
Do not let the sun go down on your wrath. (Ephesians 4:26)
Forgiveness plays such a huge role in marriage. If not dealt with, bitterness, resentment, and dissension take root.
It’s important to note, forgiveness in marriage isn’t only between you and your spouse. If you’re harboring a need to be forgiven by God or even to forgive yourself, that will significantly impact your marriage. Take this need before the Lord and receive His complete forgiveness. He never withholds forgiveness. Seek a Christian counselor if necessary.
Related: What Is the Good News of the Gospel?
The following biblical keys to a successful marriage are found in Ephesians 4:2-3.
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
7. Biblical Keys to Marriage – Humility
Humility used to be a foreign word to my husband and I. Our best and supreme example has been Christ Himself. You can read about Christ’s example of humility in Philippians 2.
A successful godly marriage is intentional about cultivating humility. Pride, entitlement, and control are natural to us. I’m learning if I’m basing my standard of humility in relation to the display of my husband’s humility, I lose. He’s not meant to be my standard.
If, however, my example is Christ, and I draw my strength from Him, it is a completely different scenario.
When tempted to base your response on your spouse’s example, pivot to look at Jesus instead. This becomes a powerful blessing to your marriage.
8. Biblical Keys to Marriage – Gentleness
Gentleness, a fruit of the Spirit, carries great value and strength in a biblically grounded marriage. Lexico defines gentleness as: The quality of being kind, tender, or mild-mannered. I’ve also heard gentleness described as strength under control.
Gentleness draws each other in. It is an essential biblical marriage principle displayed through both actions and words.
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:2-3
God works this in us as we pursue Him and holiness!
9. Biblical Keys to Marriage – Patience and Peace
Having a healthy Christian marriage requires patience and peace. Both are something we get to practice and cultivate daily.
“..Through the bond of peace.” Pursuing peace is a relational commitment. We’re called to “be patient” and pursue peace. Never are we left to produce or display patience and peace on our own. The bible tells us nothing good dwells inside us, our sinful nature. (Romas 7:18)
We are united to the Prince of Peace and can be renewed daily by Him! A biblical marriage trusts and relies on the pure and perfect peace He gives.
“Peace is what I leave with you; it is my own peace that I give you. I do not give it as the world does. Do not be worried and upset; do not be afraid.” (John 14:27)
10. Biblical Keys to Marriage – Unity
The last biblical key to a successful marriage is unity. As Ephesians 4:3 expresses, “eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit…”
That’s a hard question to ask sometimes. Am I eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit?
Are we asking God for help in maintaining a spirit of communion? Are we anxious to do good to each other? Are we praying that our devotion to each other is united deeply, lovingly, and truly sacrificially? Pursuing unity in marriage is vital for a successful and healthy marriage.
Unity is the thread through Ephesians 4:2-3 and the final key to building a godly marriage.
All are possible through Christ!
Start Building a Lasting Marriage Today
Seeking to do marriage God’s way is the sure pathway to success. When the conviction of sin and selfishness is made known to you, confess this to the Lord and receive His boundless mercy. We are always one single breath away from restoration by His Spirit!
A friend often jokes as she makes a strong point:
How do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time.
Cultivating a marriage God’s way is pursuing God daily, one day at a time. As Christians, we have the beautiful promise of new mercies every single day. (Lamentations 3:23) And remember, marriage is a GIFT from the Lord to be cherished. Our most precious gifts must be guarded, protected, and kept and that can only be in the Lord’s mighty hands!
I pray these 10 biblical keys to marriage bring you encouragement and spur you on. God is always with you, always rooting for your marriage, and always ready to bless your pursuit of Him.
Related: What to Do While Waiting on God
This is so helpful. Thank you very much for the time you spent on this piece.
I ENJOYED READING THIS WAS VERY HELPFUL. THANKS
I pray God to grant you wisdom each day of your life, much blessed with this aspects of a successful marriage
Thanks for your words
Thank you so much for this wonderful lesson